Sanji's Drunk
by MugiwaraMarimo
Summary: The cook gets a bit too drunk and runs off to town. It's up to Zoro to bring him back. Just light and cute drunken fluff, nothing to serious. (T for swearing mostly)


Zoro entered the bar the woman had directed him to. Thankfully it had been right across the street from where she was angrily standing. A snap of her hand and an angry frown her only answer.

There was a haze of smoke among the low lights, the smell of cigarettes and beer overwhelming. Even he wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this. But he wasn't the pervert cook either.

The bar caught his attention fist. A line of empty stools stood in front of a long counter waiting to be filled. A short older man was washing and placing mugs on a top shelf. One hand on his feared swords, Roronoa Zoro placed the other hand on the bar. "Have you seen my cook?"

"Your cook?" The bartender didn't even bother to turn around. Just kept placing mugs on the shelf behind the bar.

"Yeah," Zoro continued. "My cook. Blonde, about my height, annoying voice, skinny bastard. Can't hold his liquor."

"You mean..." The bartender turned, flinging an arm towards the far corner, but stopped as he looked at the pirate hunter, jaw going slack. "You're..."

Zoro rolled his eyes...well eye. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks." And turned to go fetch the Strawhat cook.

Sanji was being typical drunk Sanji, sitting in the farthest, darkest corner, each arm slung over a girl, feet propped up on a chair under the table. The girls were obviously street fair, Zoro could tell by the clothing that barely covered their bodies. Not the type a sober blonde would even go near, let alone touch. The three were laughing and giggling and it was just down right pathetic.

His boots thunking loudly on the wood, Zoro came to stand at the cook's feet, arms crossed. "Oi, cook. Let's go."

"Well look at what we have here ladies...a rogue marimo. Get lost?" Sanji sneered as he turned his head towards the other man, eyes glassy and cheeks flushed.

"You're drunk. Let's go before you make a fool of yourself."

"Imnotdrunk!" It came out as a blurred slur and Zoro sighed. Stupid cook. He always did this when he got drunk when the crew was at port. And Zoro was always the one that had to go find him. Ironic huh?

'It's your job as first mate.' Nami had told him as her hands hit her hips. 'I have the rest of the crew to watch. I mean, look at them.' Flinging her arm out, she motioned to the rest of the crew, dancing and singing and just being rather, well, drunk. 'You and I are the only one's who can really handle any type of drinking.'

"You are." Zoro's scowl deepened, but Sanji's grip on the girls only grew tighter. This in it's self didn't bother the swordsman. What bothered him was the bullheaded nature of his damned cook. He got under his skin, worked his way there slowly, picking piece by piece till Zoro was so flustered he just snapped. Tonight he was quickly approaching that point. The girls, in turn, eyed Zoro and clung tighter to Sanij's suit. He was some unwelcome intruder on their game of probably trying to get all of Sanji's money. No such luck tonight...ladies.

Sanji grinned at this. "Naw...have a drink moss head. 'S on me." The cook dropped his legs from the chair and kicked it out towards Zoro, motioning with a flick of his wrist from the neck of one of the girls. "Ladies, let me introduce the moss head."

"That's not my name Sanji." Zoro grabbed the chair, moving it aside. If this had been any other time, he would have readily thrown his ass in the chair and had a drink with the blonde. Tonight he just wanted to get back to the Sunny, him and Sanji in one piece. He really was starting to get a bad vibe about the bar. Thankfully it was late and not many people were around.

This amused the cook greatly, as he started laughing, then hushing himself down to loudly whisper to the two girls. "I can't tell you his real name, tis a secret."

"Oh brother." Zoro rolled his eyes. "Get outta here girls." New plan. Get rid of the girls, get the cook to the ship.

"Oi! Don't talk to the ladies like that you neanderthal!" The cook attempted a kick, but his toes barely reached the swordsman's overcoat and Zoro simply gave Sanji a look. A '_you have got to be kidding me right now._' look and this seemed to insult the chef immensely.

He clicked his tongue and scrunched up his nose. "Don't worry my lovelies, moss for brains won't hurt you unless you carry a sword." The grin that crept across his face and the smug look in his eyes was enough for Zoro. "Right Marimo?" The blonde raised a curled eyebrow.

"That's it." Moving around the edge of the table, Zoro grabbed Sanji by the collar, dragging him to his feet. The girls screamed and ran off, but Zoro didn't care one bit. Sanji seemed to have forgotten them as well as he stared blankly at the hand wrapped in his shirt.

"Wha was that for?" He tried to brush the hand away, but Zoro held firm. "Let go of me."

"No." The word was short and firm. To the point. "We are leaving even if I have to pick you up and carry you." He hated having to pull the First Mate card on the chef, but Sanji was leaving him no choice tonight. The words were growled out through clenched teeth. "That's an order Sanji."

The blood seemed to drain from the cook's face as he narrowed his eyes with a hiss. "You wouldn't dare."

"Not me who's gonna get all embarrassed. Wouldn't be the first time either. It's a good thing you won't ever see those stupid girls again too. After having to have me bodily remove you from the bar...you'll kick and yell, like always, but we both know I'm stronger than you, don't we Sanji?" It was Zoro's turn to give him the smug look with the raised eyebrow.

Sanji kicked his foot for good measure as his hands found his pockets and his shoulders slumped forwards. "Stupid moss ball." He muttered as the swordsman followed him out of the bar. He stumbled a few times and once in the street, Zoro offered a shoulder to steady himself on, but the blonde pushed him away.

Of course then he promptly fell over. This was of course Zoro's fault as well as he helped haul the cook back to his feet. With a groan, Sanji paused. "Zoro...I think I'm gonna..."

"Ah, man, really?" Zoro stepped back and to the side as the blonde threw up right where they were standing. "Come on Sanji, how much did you drink? This is stupid. We do this every time."

The blonde held up a hand, index finger pointed at the sky as he tried to catch his breath. It came in stopping gasps as his body still heaved once in a while. Wiping his mouth, he turned an uneasy gaze to the other man. "I feel like shit."

"You look like shit. Come on, let's go." Zoro dragged Sanji's arm over his shoulder and the cook didn't fight this time as he leaned against him and the two started for the Sunny. The two men were quiet for a minute, their shoes on the cobblestone street the only noise in the late night air. Finally the swordsman sighed. "I get worried about you."

"That's cute."

"No, I mean it. One of these times you are going to get into some sort of trouble and we won't be there to help you. You always run off like this when we are in a port."

"I can take care of myself." Sanji tried to pull away from Zoro, but he held on to his wrist. He also wrapped an arm around the drunk man's waist, just for good measure. "I can walk on my own too. Stop!" Again he tried to pull away, failing instantly.

"I can't deal with you like this." Zoro grumbled. Sanji simply stuck out his tongue at him. "Why can't you stay put when you drink?"

"Like you?" The cook swung his head towards Zoro with a huge grin. "My little Marimo ball!" Then he promptly stopped and threw up again. This time, however, a hand rubbed his back, and Sanji actually started to feel better. "I need to lie down Zoro."

"Not till we get to the Sunny."

"I don't wanna walk that far." There was a slight whine to his voice. "And don't even tell me it's not that far...everything is far with you."

"Hey now," The two started moving again. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you guys. I don't get lost. Things...move."

"No, Zoro, they don't." Sanji said and actually sounded quite sober for a moment. It was only a moment though as he started chuckling to himself in a voice that was hoarse from drinking. "Directionally challenged. It never gets old."

"Tch." Zoro rolled his eyes, his grip tightening around the cook's waist. "Want a shower when we get back?"

Sanji was silent a minute before the quiet 'yes' was mumbled. The blonde, though he would never admit it, was damn lucky and happy to have someone like the swordsman to look out for him. He always came after him when he got drunk and stupid. Never stayed mad at him long either. The cook knew the moss ball would never let him down. He smiled. "Have I told you I love you?" He purred the words through his drunken slurring, laying his head against Zoro's shoulder. The two walked along, almost awkwardly, with Zoro supporting Sanji as he dragged his feet, scuffing his polished shoes and stumbling occasionally.

"You have." The swordsman nodded as he spoke.

"Well?" Sanji picked his head up to eye the first mate suspiciously.

"I love you, you dumb drunk pervert cook."

"Very good." The cook nodded, completely ignoring, or in this case, not even really noticing the jab. A small smile crossed Zoro's features as he squeezed the cook's waist briefly.

The rest of the trip to the ship carried on in comfortable silence, Sanji's head on Zoro's shoulder. Well, almost silent. The blonde stopped at one point to throw up again. Then he stumbled up the gangplank and fell once on the grass deck, dragging them both down while he laughed hysterically.

A little calmer now, Zoro laughed with him for a moment, before sitting up and hushing the drunk. He knew Sanji had thrown up enough now to be not quite as drunk, but he was still pretty fuzzy as the two finally got to the bath house. He stumbled in and Zoro watched from the doorway, leaning against it. "You good?"

"Ca'mere." The cook grabbed Zoro by the sash around his waist and pulled the swordsman into the room, closing the door behind him. "I miss my Marimo."

"Uh...I never left your side cook. Not since I dragged you outta the bar." He chuckled. "You're still a bit drunk shit cook."

Sanji shrugged. "Yeah. Prolly." Starting at the waist, he trailed his fingers up the scar on the man's chest, stopping at the edge on his shoulder. Zoro watched the cook's blue eye cloud over, pupils already blown from his drinking as the cook followed the movements of his fingers and now flicked to Zoro's face, eyelids lowered a bit. "I want—"

The swordsman cut him off. "No, you're drunk."

"I'm sober enough to know that I want you. Not like it would be the first time one of us had been drinking."

"Me drinking is different than you drinking. Simple fact: I don't _get _drunk to begin with."

The Strawhat chef stood back and squared his shoulders, both hands now on the moss head's shoulders at arm's length and gave a small nod. He sucked in a breath and opened his mouth to speak, paused, then did it again. "Roronoa Zoro, I assure you, I am sober enough to realize that I am asking you, my...what are we again?"

"Fiancé."

"Fiancé. Right. That's why we had the party."

"Yes."

"Anyways. I am sober enough to be fully aware of the fact that I want to have sex. With you. My fiancé. Sounds so funny." He started laughing again.

With a sigh, Zoro crossed his arms. "Stupid cook," he said quietly, a faint blush crossing his cheeks. "The answer is still no. Let's get you into the shower. Come on."

"But I don't wanna." The cook stuck his lower lip out in a pout as his hands circled Zoro's neck, who had started to mess with the cook's tie in an attempt to get him in the shower. "Come on. Please."

Roronoa Zoro bristled. The hands around his neck began stroking up his neck as the cook tilted his head forwards slightly, eyes half lidded, the pout still on his face. It took all he possessed to not lean forwards and bite that pout off the blonde's face. "Dammit Sanji. No. A little help would be nice."

"Fine." Sanji rudely pushed him away, determination crushed for the moment and in one swift movement, Zoro was impressed considering the cook could barely stand up right now, undid the button of his pants and removed all clothing from the waist down. "There I did half."

"Really?" Zoro shook his head finally removing the tie and threw it over his shoulder as he undid the suit jacket buttons. "You are impossible. I don't know why I put up with this shit of yours. I should have just left you in the bar."

"Why did you come get me?" Of course the cook was glad he did, or well, he would be in the morning when he was gulping down pain medicine for the headache.

"Why do you think?" The moss ball flicked the cook in the forehead and threw the jacket on the floor. A hand came up to rub at the spot as Sanji shrugged. "I don't want to see you get into trouble and get hurt or something. That and you listen to me."

"Do not moss head." The cook crossed his arms, but Zoro pushed them aside to get to the shirt buttons. Undoing the last one, he turned and started the water for the shower. Behind him, he could hear the cook huff as he shrugged off the shirt and dropped it on the floor.

Satisfied at the temperature after a minute of playing with it, Zoro stood and moved aside. "In ya go."

Sanji hesitated. Something the swordsman only caught glimpses of once in a while. The cook then bit his lip. "Take a shower with me?" He spoke quietly, as if not wanting to ask or sound too needy.

"Get in. The water's running. It's nice and hot. Come on." He pulled the cook over and pushed him towards the shower. Grumbling, the cook climbed under the water and as Zoro pulled the curtain shut smiled at the contented sigh that came from the other man.

Water ran down his face and off his chin to the floor as Sanji poked his head out of the water. "You coming? I won't do anything. I want to, but you're stubborn."

"Fine." Zoro removed his weapons and undid his sash as he talked. "But I mean it; try anything and I am going to get out. I don't mind spending the time with you cook, but I am not going to have sex with you tonight. It's just not happening."

The cook ducked back into the water as Zoro kicked off his boots and shrugged off his overcoat. "I know, I know, stupid moss head." Climbing into the shower with Sanji, he was a little surprised when the cook grabbed his arm and pulled him under the spray into a hug. Arms around his waist, Sanji nuzzled his face into the crook of Zoro's shoulder. "I'm just really happy. I'm sorry I'm a shitty drunk to deal with. But you always come get me."

"I do." The swordsman tilted his head away from the spray, then moved the shower nozzle slightly. "You're not so bad when we aren't in port."

"Zoro."

"Yeah?"

"Can I have a kiss?"

There was a small chuckle from the first mate. "Just one."


End file.
